Eating kangaroo

I had to work late on Valentine's Day so I decided to step out with my lady the night before and we wanted to go big.

I heard the Old Stone Farmhouse, which is in between Mahoghany Golf Course and Magens Bay, was the top-ranked restaurant out of 120 restaurants reviewed on St. Thomas. This, according to the good people at Trip Adviser so I guess we were still rolling the dice.

It was quite grand. I almost spent about half my paycheck there but it was worth it and I will be back again.

My lady ordered elk, lamb and get this: kangaroo. Her carnivore appetite spiked when we walked into the kitchen -- think very fine dining here, not grease monkey bar food -- and were given a mini tour of what was on the grill that night...

I took on one of their Thai curry bowls with tofu. Pretty weak, I know. But I figured I could pick off my lady's plate and that way, we could get the best of both worlds.

They had complimentary valet service, which was one of many nice touches and they encouraged people to tag the walls in the kitchen with Sharpie markers.

We ordered a nice Malbec from Argentina and we soaked up some hot sauce-dipped frog legs (also a first for me) and seasoned scallops before the hammer came down.

The meat was cooked to perfection and the kangaroo was the best piece of animal flesh I've ever consumed. The curry sauce opened my sinuses and I couldn't hide the sweat beads on my forehead (which means it was damn good).


Had some apple cinnamon flan for desert but the caffeine from my Bailey's and coffee kept me up watching Teen Mom 2 until 2:46 a.m. Clearly, the only sad part of the evening.

Overall Review: It may be the best restaurant on this island. Bring a full wallet, a lust for flesh and you'll have a very memorable night.

Resturant Review -- Mafolie Hotel

I really struck out on this one. Well, more like a check swing.

I had been drinking most of the day and my restaurant perception was askew. To make matters worse, Brianna's friend from L.A. had just arrived and we wanted to take her somewhere nice.

Now with out-of-town guests -- the humble abode has been a hostel in recent months -- I like to take them out slow. You know, average restaurants and beaches early on in the stay and then work my way up until they are literally contemplating relocation by the time I drop them back off at the airport.

This time, I went on the advice of my friend Thomas and if you're reading this -- YOU DROPPED THE BALL, KID. The night before, I saw his jeep parked in front of Mafolie Hotel and I later learned he took his girl there for a nice dinner.

Check out the menu.

The hotel and restaurant are perched on the side of the mountain and does have a fantastic view. This pic is of me and my younger bro, Conor, who stayed at the hotel for two nights in May.

The buck stops there, though. Thomas told me the new chef there is really stepping up his game so I decided to take Bri and L.A. Christine there.

First thing was first. We did not make a reservation so to punish us, the hostess sat us in a four-top away from the balcony. No biggie.

We did some wine and ordered the conch fritters for an appetizer. The waitress was nice but she tried to remember our entire order in one swoop and that usually means trouble.

Bri is on a vegetarian kick these days (I coincidentally stopped showing her documentaries) so she ordered an eggplant dish that turned out to be the best of the three.

I believe it was on special and it came with twice-cooked mashed potatoes, which was the highlight of the entire meal and some steamed veggies.

L.A. Christine went with the pan-roasted mahi-mahi filet topped with pineapple salsa.

I'm not sure she was too impressed. I failed her and she had only been on-island for three hours. She said the fish came out dry and over done. Plus, because of the waitress' steady hand, all the food had slid over to one side of the plate and presentation was compromised.

When I'm in doubt after looking at the menu, I do what most guys do. I order the biggest steak they have and hope for the best.

This ribeye was over-cooked and was not a very good cut of beef. Plenty of grizzle and the waitress forgot to bring me a steak knife so my right forearm got a sweet workout with the butter knife.

The mashed potatoes (cooked only once) were OK and the veggies couldn't save the day.

We didn't even finish the bottle of wine between us. That never happens.

Afterward, no one was totally satisfied but it wasn't the worst restaurant ever. You can tell there's some potential there and it's one of those places where which night you go to eat there makes all the difference.

Like Vince Vaughn's character in Swingers: "It's 4:30 a.m. on a Tuesday ... this is the skank shift."

Next time I will make a reservation, try to drink less beforehand and come on a weekend night.

Final grade: C-

Restaurant Review -- Tavern On The Waterfront

My girlfriend is an amazing cook so I guess you can call her a foodie. I don't like that word but when I typed in "person who frequents restaurants" into dictionary.com, it came up with zero references.

She actually doesn't like to eat out that much because she feels she can cook better than most professionals. I can attest to this.

Anyway, I'm getting off the subject. We do eat out from time to time and I felt it would add a little spice (no pun intended) to the blog if I start to critique the fine eating establishments around St. Thomas. There can't be more than like 35 so if I hit one a week and share my analysis with you, the reader, then everyone wins. Right?

OK. Here goes.

Restaurant Review #1 -- Tavern On The Waterfront

I found out last week that our friend, Julie, just started to work at Tavern and it sits close by to a favorite happy-hour spot, the Big Kahuna Rum Shack, so we decided to try it out.

Brianna, my girlfriend, actually had lunch there before and already had pretty high reviews for it.

It's right on Veteran's Drive and is perched on the second floor across the street from the waterfront (hence, the name). When it comes to successful restaurants on St. Thomas, it's all about location and this one sits almost in the epicenter of cruise boat tourist central.

As we walked up the stairs, I read that they have a 2 for 1 drink special EVERYDAY except Fridays. You have to sit at the bar for the special but that tidbit of info had me smiling before I even entered the door.

The dining room was mostly empty but it was 5:30 p.m. and there was only one cruise boat in port that day. The bar, however, was almost at capacity with muffled afternoon boozers.

Before our friendly server Melanie seated us -- we later learned Julie only works the lunch shift -- I got a good view of the place. White cloth tables, gentle jazz music playing in the background and a table right next to the window waiting for us.

I snapped a primitive photo with my iPhone of the restaurant after the bar emptied out. It's a little fuzzy but Slav, the owner, is behind the bar. Great guy.


They had an extensive wine menu that we did not fall victim to. Instead, we each ordered ice water so we could maximize the taste and complexion of the food.

Wow. Did you hear that? Like I'm some kind of food critic or something. Hilarious.

My baby recommended the Polish Perogis -- she had ordered them before -- for an appetizer and we decided not to get them with bacon. Brianna doesn't dig on swine anymore.

They arrived with sour cream on the side and with caramelized onions draped across them. Of course, they were piping hot and I burned my mouth because I was hungry and I could not wait.

After glancing over the menu, which was a little on the expensive side, I opted for the special that Melanie described to me for my entree. It was a rib eye steak, with scallops, mashed potatoes and mixed veggies. Does it get any better?


I didn't find out until the check came that it cost $32. The N.Y. Strip on their menu was $28. Now I'm not going to get into an argument about the different kinds of steaks and how they're cut so save that for another time.

I ordered it cooked medium and it came out perfectly. The bourbon sauce they poured all over it made the meal. The scallops were a little small but tasty. Mashed potatoes did the job and the veggies were on point.

Brianna order the Fruit & Berry Salad and she was quite pleased.


It had a big chunk of fried goat cheese and was surrounded with diced strawberries and green apples. She surrendered a taste and it was one of the best salads I've had since I've been on island. I don't know if that says a lot.

It was the clean plate club, as usual, and we were too full for dessert unfortunately. Slav, the owner, came by our table during the meal to chat. He told us that they have an open mic night on Fridays and that's why they don't do the drink special.

He said last week a 15-year-old got up on the stage and impressed the crowd. Slav said it was some of the best jazz he's heard and invited him back. Will I be in attendance? Tough to say.

But I will come back for the food. Good service. Great presentation and it all happened within a comfortable setting.

Final grade: B+