Thursday, May 27, 2010

The heat is on

I just got off the phone with a friend of mine who is visiting another friend of ours in South Florida. Now, it doesn't matter if you've been to that special region of the world or not, Miami and the surrounding area is pure fun.

The word "debauchery" comes to mind.

Now Chico, I mean Friend #1, picked up Friend #2 at the airport this morning and I've received a few clouded updates on their whereabouts and shady affairs on this fine day in May. I can't really relay the information, but trust me, they did not go to a library or volunteer at a local church. No sir.

Which got me thinking about the police in the Virgin Islands. It was only four days ago when I said to Brianna that I thought the brass here were pretty cool. I mean, I have never been harassed and my reasoning was that they have many more fish to fry (the murder rate here is starting to rival countries engaged in civil war -- does that even make sense?).

But as I was taking Alison, an out-of-towner, to the beach two days ago, all of my positive thoughts about the local swine changed.

I pulled over on the side of the road to throw some bags of trash in a dumpster. On St. Thomas, there is no home pick-up of trash so the residents are asked to do their part, put their trash in the car and haul it to the designated dumpsters. Anyway, on this particular day, two cops were waiting behind the dumpsters when I pulled over.

It was a sneak attack!

Right away, the female cop said she was going to write me a ticket for not wearing a seat belt. Then she asked for license and registration.

"But wait, I was just trying to throw out my trash," I said.

"I don't care, license and registration," she barked back.

Of course, I didn't have what she wanted. She used her radio to call in my name and I checked out. No alleged murders on this guy.

She only wrote me one ticket and was very mean as I got in my car and pulled away. I was livid. For being a good citizen, I got caught up in an ambush. But this was no time for a showdown.

For now on, I'm just going to dump my trash in the street and hide in my house. Nothing but drug-pushers, murderers and strip club buffets out there.

Or is that Fort Lauderdale? Now I'm confused.

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