LeBron in DC?

This has nothing to do with anything. But as I sat inside my newsroom, listened to the 1-hour LeBron Decision special and wrote a blurb about the V.I. little league baseball teams getting pummeled in Puerto Rico, it suddenly hit me.

LeBron James + American Idol = playing for the Washington Wizards.

I'm sure it rubbed a few people the wrong way when LeBron made a big stink about where he would sign as a free agent. He could have just held a press conference like everyone else. Instead, he wanted to do it live and ESPN's SportsCenter probably earned its highest TV rating of the summer.

Stay with me here.

He should have just listened to my boy, Ryan Seacrest, and turned the whole saga into an American Idol results show.

He's young. He can play anywhere (i.e. D.C.) for the next five years and have a good time. Why is he in such a hurry to win some rings?

Money, huh? Well, I got you covered, King James.

The show could have been set up where people call in or text which team he should go to and that he would have to play there. If each call/text cost like $2.99, he would make his base salary on one night's work.

Imagine all those saps in Cleveland who haven't seen a winner in decades. They would have sunk every last construction and mining penny into that bastard to stay in Ohio.

Chicago wants to move on from the Jordan years and I'm sure Obama would have cast a vote in the form of some expensive stimulus package.

There's gold practically flowing up on the shore in Florida and around Miami. I'm sure some of those rich fellas that ride yachts around wouldn't mind paying for LeBron sprinkles to go on top of their Wade-Bosh cake.

And New York City? Fffugetaboutit.

LeBron would have scored mad duckets if he just listened to me. Why didn't I think of this plan earlier in the week?

I could have hit him up on Twitter. Yeah, I'm following his ass.

While the increasing-by-the-second basketball faithful in South Beach will celebrate tonight for what looks like an NBA coup, I wonder if the Wizards will ever get a chance to buy a winner.

Probably not. Do I care? Not really.