Ass-backwards

I'm sitting here inside a cumbersome newsroom waiting for these morons to call me back. Instead of eating dinner with my girlfriend, I might as well rant about something.

So many things are ass-backwards on St. Thomas.

QUICK HIT: High school softball teams do hitting drills on the football field (with no backstop and people running around the nearby track). I'm not joking, I saw it happen yesterday.

I just shook my head, walked away and moved my car to behind the gym.

ONE OF MY FAVORITES: Local basketball coaches who answer their cell phone while in the middle of a basketball game. It happened to me moments ago.

"Hello."

"Hey coach, I was wondering if I could get the results from the tournament (that ended almost three days ago)?"

"Oh yeah, I got your other voicemails. I can't talk now because I'm in the middle of coaching a game."

"Then why did you pick up the phone?"

"I don't know."

MORONS PLAYING THE PART: Varsity football coaches getting into fisticuffs moments after breaking up a post-game fight between players. I tell this one to anyone that will listen.

One of the idiots actually got promoted to head coach recently and I had the beloved joy of interviewing him on the phone. After listening to him describe his majestic and extensive football upbringing, I finally dropped it on him:

"So I have to have to ask -- why did you start swinging on coach Jarvis after last season's championship?"

"Aaron, I have to be honest. There's a lot about that situation."

"Let me stop you right there, coach. You and I both know that if you pulled that crap anywhere in the States, you would have be fired on the spot. And yet, here we are, talking about how you've been appointed to take over the program. I don't know. Maybe it's just me but doesn't that sound a little backwards?"

"I don't know."

"Great answer. You may be the best coach of your generation."

Rant over. Sanity preserved for the moment.